29 Dec

29 December

We've been in Canberra for almost a week now. I must admit I found it a bit difficult to keep up with my exercises. I have however been walking a lot more than last time I was here.

I had a hairdresser appointment this morning. Helen, my mother in law took me to her hairdresser for a haircut. I haven't had a haircut since in July, when my mum clipped my hair using the hair clipper they used for their poodle. My hair has been growing quite a bit - covering the scars quite well.

I was a bit nervous about having someone else shampooing my hair. I just don't want anybody to scratch my scalp - it's still a bit tender even though the scar has healed quite well. In the end, I decided that I'd wash my hair before I go there. The haircut was pretty quick. I was out of the door within half an hour. When Helen and I were walking back to the car, we saw Tim and Lillian on the other side of the road. Tim was lauching as I was walking towards him. He kept calling me "Lee Lin Chin" - the SBS news reader. He thinks my new haircut made me look even more like her - all I need is a bit of grey highlight!

22 December

22 December

I feel a bit guilty that I haven't updated the diary for a while. It's hard to be disciplined enough to write the diary on a daily basis. Maybe it's so close to Christmas and I just can't wait for a holiday. The only problem is when I was working, it's ok to take some time off and relax a bit but when I'm still in a rehab stage, I can't afford to slack off. Tim kept reminding me that rehab is my full time job now but I think it's more than that. With a full time job, you can expect 4 weeks annual leave and weekends off. In my case, I 'work' on weekends as well and I can't really take 4 weeks 'annual leave' otherwise I'll be so deconditioned. I know Tim kept saying that I shouldn't complain and there are people in much worse situations. I suppose that's true - at least I can walk a bit (not normal yet) and poor Christopher Reed, to the date he died, he was still hoping that one day he'd be able to walk again.

In the morning, I had to take my AFO to the orthotist for modification again. Megan is on maternity leave so I saw her husband, Greg, instead. He took out the padding in the AFO and modified it a bit more and told me to try it again and we'll catch up again when I return from Canberra just to see if the AFO is fitting well. I left it on for almost two hours today and so far, it hasn't been too bad.

I'm panicking a bit because I haven't done much exercises and Neil and Rosemary are coming back this evening. I'm glad they are coming back but I know I'll get into trouble from Neil when he finds out that I haven't done all my exercises - especially the one ball juggles. One of the reasons that I updated my diary is because I know Neil will be asking me about that as well. So much for self-discipline.

20 December

20 December

It's my birthday today! Judy came in the morning and I had deep tissue massage. Probably not the nicest thing to do on my birthday - deep tissue massage is quite painful.

Stuart came to visit me around noon. He brought me a birthday present. It's so nice of him to remember my birthday, considering I always forget his. He was very happy to see the progress with my hand. He said last time he saw me (around late August), I could move my fingers but now I can move them individually.

I had another physio session with Prema in the afternoon. I thought I'd better get more physio sessions before we go to Canberra.

In the evening, Tim was helping me with some walking exercises. I told him that I had a dream a few nights ago - I dreamt that I was running. It reminded me of the film - Babe: Pig in the City. In the movie, there is a dog with no back legs and instead of legs, he has a little cart with 2 wheels. When he was knocked unconscious, he dreamt he was at a beautiful place (presumely heaven) and he has back legs and was running and jumping around chasing butterflies. When I thought about the dog in the movie, I just burst into tears.

17 Dec

17 December

I had an appointment with Dale (social worker) this morning. We went up to Lygon Street again. Unfortunately, we couldn't get the disabled parking spot outside Browns so we parked in the next street around the corner. I told Dale that I have to take it easy today because I have another outing scheduled with Jacqui (OT) this afternoon. We stopped at Browns for coffee and then walked around the other way back to the car. Dale said it was about 500m walk but for some reason I felt quite tired after that - maybe it's the heat - it's quite warm today.

In the afternoon, Jacqui and I went to Lygon Court. I told her that I had a really bad experience at a shopping mall in Manuka, Canberra with the escalator and she thought it'd be good to add that to my goal list. Originally, she suggested we taking the tram into the city and to Myers to practice getting on and off the escalator. I was glad that I was able to talk her out of doing that - I don't think I'm ready to go into the most crowded department store on a Friday afternoon a week before Christmas. Besides, the escalator there has steps - too tricky for me at this stage.

When we got to the Lygon Court carpark, it was full so we had to wait for a while to get in. We finally got in about 15 minutes later. I was surprised to find the disabled parking spot empty. Jacqui didn't have the disabled parking permit so we had to park somewhere else. We managed to find a spot not too far from the supermarket except it was on a big slope. I found it very hard to walk on a slope - my ankle didn't like it much and kept inverting. When we finally got to the entrace of Lygon Court (just outside the supermarket), there was a table set up by the Salvation Army. I didn't really look what they were doing. I presume it's some kind of collection for Christmas. The guys at the table looked at me and appeared to be quite sympathetic but were also curious about what happened to me. When they asked me what happened (something I didn't really want to explain in details), I told them that I'm recovering from a brain surgery - didn't expect to continue the conversation. They couldn't help their curiosity and asked me what sort of brain surgery. I was quite annoyed at their persistence and just replied 'a neurosurgery' and walked away.

Jacqui then took me to try out the escalator ahead of us. After about 4-5 times, I was getting a bit more comfortable with it and decided it's time to go. I thought since I was there, I might as well pick up some grocery from safe so we don't have to go on the weekend. Tim hates grocery shopping so this should save him the angony of having to accompany me to the supermarket on the weekend.

Alessia, a friend of mine, came to visit later in the afternoon. She mentioned that in my diary, I wrote quite a bit about going for a coffee with the social worker. She thought that was a bit strange and asked me why we always go to cafes. Good question! A lot of people must wonder why. It's not that the social worker has such an easy job and that's what he does. I think the reason is one of my rehab outcome is that I can live an independent normal life and MECRS think it's important for me to get back to the community. Going to cafes is just of one the 'normalisation' processes. I know it sounds silly but when I was first discharged from the rehab hospital, I was quite afraid to go out (even with Tim). Even now, 3 months after my discharge, I still don't feel perfectly comfortable when I go out. The only place I feel comfortable and normal (apart from at home or my parents' place) is MECRS. It's the only place I don't feel like a freak. It's definitely not normal when I feel like this. This is exactly what the social worker and OT are trying to help me to overcome - I need to feel comfortable going out and back in the community again.

16 Dec

16 December

My physio session at MECRS was in the morning. I normally have physio and hydro on Thursday afternoons but Fiona asked me a few weeks ago if I’d like to have a join session with other physios - like brain storming sessions for them to think about how to improve my gait.

I must admit that I don’t like those morning sessions – I’m always anxious about my taxi. I called them before 8.30 a.m. just to be sure they have arranged a taxi for me as I don’t normally go in on Thursday mornings.

The taxi turned up on time and I was at the physio gym before 9 a.m. There was no sight of Fiona so I sat down outside the gym to wait for her. She finally turned up at about 9.15 a.m. and asked me to go in the gym. Jane, Emily and Margaret were the other physios in the session. They asked me to walk around with the stick first and then without the stick and then with bare feet. It was pretty hard walking with bare feet because my ankle kept inverting. Finally, they got me to walk around with the dynamic AFO on. It’s still very uncomfortable to wear so they think it might need to be further adjusted. Jane was the only one who provided some suggestions – when I take a step, I need to push off through the backfoot.

In the afternoon, I had another appointment with Judy for deep tissue massage. It’s been almost two weeks since I had my last massage. Judy thinks I probably need it every week because my muscles are too tight after 2 weeks. She’s a bit worried that I’m not taking proper stride when I’m walking and that’s not giving the hip extensors a good stretch. She showed me the walking exercises I should do to stretch the muscles – it’s pretty much like what Tim was helping me to walk without a stick when I first got home from MECRS. She’s also very concerned that when I’m in Canberra I don’t get physio or hydro sessions has urged me to get MECRS to refer me to at least somewhere I can have a few hydro sessions.

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