16 March 2007
First update in over a month. I had a really stressful month in February so I didn't get to update the blog for a while. The stress was mainly work related issues. I had another meeting with the occupational physician, Dr Bernedette Trifiletti, orgainised by my case manager, Wendy, in HR. Bernedette (or she preferred to be called Berni) basically told me that I've reached my maximum recovery in 3 years and there is no more recovery. Therefore, it's time to increase my work hours rapidly now - like introducing another full day and try to get me back full time in 4 months.
I don't like doctors much, especially stupid ones like her. For a start, she doesn't know about me to determine whether I've reached my maximum recovery. It maybe true that most people reached their maximum recovery in 2 years but how would she know if I'm one of them. Also, when I discussed this with my private physio, Prema, she said it's possible that in general people reached their maximum recovery in 2 years because they are often discharged after that and there is no more rehab for them and also, there is no study done on whether they work very hard. It's a pity that there is no study done on whether people still improve over 2 years if they work very hard at it.
They planned to increase my hours at a very rapid rate but fortunately my GP, Dr Campisi wasn't prepared to sign that off so they had to modify it and agreed that was too quick. Now, my hours have increased but not as rapid as what they would have liked. I'll be working 2 full days towards the end of April. At least, I bought myaelf a bit more time to do rehab. This 'kick in the butt' has made me extremely nervous but at the same time, it had made me a lot more efficient in many ways. For example, I started to cut down on the number of gym classes I attend and increased the number of sessions of running practice and gait practice. At the end of the day, I don't need to be able to do aerobics or yoga or pilates but I need to be able to run and walk properly. Some classes that I attended in the past are so easy and makes me think ' who am I kidding really?' I don't need quantity, I need quality and intensity.
Neil has been extremely kind and offered to help me again. This time, a bit of moral support with my running practice. Gavin always thinks I don't do enough practice and my excuse has been I don't have a backyard so I have nowhere to practice. He told me I could just go to a park and run there but I have always felt self concious and didn't want to do it by myself. Neil accompanied me to Royal Park and we walked around and found a good secluded spot for my running practice. It's funny because Neil always wears his runners there but he doesn't run and he just watches me running and give me some feedback. I noticed that he is wearing the top range ASICS runners -Kayano but I don't think he is aware of that. I'm more into runners these days because they are the only shoes I wear these days.
I saw my rehab specialist, John Olver, again, a few weeks ago. He didn't have anything constructive to say as usual. I was very tempted to show him my juggling but I was worried that would really make him discharging from the hospital. I didn't mention to him about ballroom dancing either. After all, he was the one who told me I could never dance again because that's asking for 100% recovery. If ballroom dancing is 100% recovery then juggling could be 110% recovery since I didn't juggle before.
I had a chance to talk to Mary Galea again a couple of weeks ago. She is a professor in rehab in the physio department at the university. I asked her if there has been any study done on fatigue and exercise. I told her that all the rehab specialists told me fatigue is a chronic problem and I would never get over it and I would need to learn to manage it. From my experience, I just had to push myself to work really hard to get fit and strong to get over it. She told me there has not been any studies done because there's no funding for it. She said she believes exercise is important because it chages your brain. I also told her that I started dancing again. She was very happy for me and told me I should write a book about it. From being totally disabled in bed to where I am is has been quite a journey. Maybe I will write a book about it one day.
I don't like doctors much, especially stupid ones like her. For a start, she doesn't know about me to determine whether I've reached my maximum recovery. It maybe true that most people reached their maximum recovery in 2 years but how would she know if I'm one of them. Also, when I discussed this with my private physio, Prema, she said it's possible that in general people reached their maximum recovery in 2 years because they are often discharged after that and there is no more rehab for them and also, there is no study done on whether they work very hard. It's a pity that there is no study done on whether people still improve over 2 years if they work very hard at it.
They planned to increase my hours at a very rapid rate but fortunately my GP, Dr Campisi wasn't prepared to sign that off so they had to modify it and agreed that was too quick. Now, my hours have increased but not as rapid as what they would have liked. I'll be working 2 full days towards the end of April. At least, I bought myaelf a bit more time to do rehab. This 'kick in the butt' has made me extremely nervous but at the same time, it had made me a lot more efficient in many ways. For example, I started to cut down on the number of gym classes I attend and increased the number of sessions of running practice and gait practice. At the end of the day, I don't need to be able to do aerobics or yoga or pilates but I need to be able to run and walk properly. Some classes that I attended in the past are so easy and makes me think ' who am I kidding really?' I don't need quantity, I need quality and intensity.
Neil has been extremely kind and offered to help me again. This time, a bit of moral support with my running practice. Gavin always thinks I don't do enough practice and my excuse has been I don't have a backyard so I have nowhere to practice. He told me I could just go to a park and run there but I have always felt self concious and didn't want to do it by myself. Neil accompanied me to Royal Park and we walked around and found a good secluded spot for my running practice. It's funny because Neil always wears his runners there but he doesn't run and he just watches me running and give me some feedback. I noticed that he is wearing the top range ASICS runners -Kayano but I don't think he is aware of that. I'm more into runners these days because they are the only shoes I wear these days.
I saw my rehab specialist, John Olver, again, a few weeks ago. He didn't have anything constructive to say as usual. I was very tempted to show him my juggling but I was worried that would really make him discharging from the hospital. I didn't mention to him about ballroom dancing either. After all, he was the one who told me I could never dance again because that's asking for 100% recovery. If ballroom dancing is 100% recovery then juggling could be 110% recovery since I didn't juggle before.
I had a chance to talk to Mary Galea again a couple of weeks ago. She is a professor in rehab in the physio department at the university. I asked her if there has been any study done on fatigue and exercise. I told her that all the rehab specialists told me fatigue is a chronic problem and I would never get over it and I would need to learn to manage it. From my experience, I just had to push myself to work really hard to get fit and strong to get over it. She told me there has not been any studies done because there's no funding for it. She said she believes exercise is important because it chages your brain. I also told her that I started dancing again. She was very happy for me and told me I should write a book about it. From being totally disabled in bed to where I am is has been quite a journey. Maybe I will write a book about it one day.
posted by Teresa Liu at 7:57 PM
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