30 January 2007

Fisrt diary entry in over two weeks. Very big news. I've taken the first step in achieving my ultimate goal. Ever since I had the brain surgery and started my journey in rehab, Tim has always reminded me that I want a 100% recovery and we want to get back to ballroom dancing one day. This 'ultimate goal' has upset many rehab specialists, including Fary from MECRS and John Olver from the Epworth. In fact, every time I see John, he will remind me that a 100% recovery is impossible. I never take their words seriously anyway because they always feed their patients with negative prognosis anyway.

I have been going to aerobics classes for a while now and a few months ago, one of Tim's collegue, Jane, gave me a contact and suggest that I try out some dance lessons. Jane is a good ballroom dancer and she told me about this dance teacher, Adam, whom she has spoken to and is happy to take me on as a student. It took me a while to get the courage to call him and arrange for a dance lesson. I know he coaches many top level competion dancers and felt really silly to approach him.

I finally got my act together and contacted him for an appointment. It turned out that he teaches mainly at Granada, a studio in East Malvern. It's really strange to go out there again. That's where I first learnt to dance back in 1995 and it's the place Tim and I met. Going to my lesson was like a walk down memory lane. The plance hasn't changed much in over 10 years. So, I had my first dance lesson last Tuesday. I think the last time I had a dance lesson was back in 1999, before Tim and I got married. I was so excited when I got to my lesson. I told Adam about my drama and that I had to work my butt off to even get to this stage - the first step in achieving my ultimate goal. A goal seems so close yet so far away... I'm not sure if he was ablt to comprehend how far I've come. From not being able to wiggle my toes in the left foot to here, on the dance floor.

He went through Waltz and Slow Rhythm, a simpler form of Slow Fox, with me, in the first lesson. It was kind of strange dance in my runners. I told Adam that I can't wear dance shoes and I have to wear the ankle brace because of the muscle imbalance. I actually went out shopping a few days before but couldn't find anything suitable for dancing. In the end, I decided to wear my gym gear since I'm treating this as rehab, I might as well turn up in my usual rehab gear - gym outfit with runners.

I had another lesson today and we went through Waltz, Slow Rhythm, Quickstep and Cha Cha. I was surprised that many steps seem familiar and came back to me very quickly. I mentioned this to Gavin last week when I went to the running group. I was so excited about my dance lesson so I told him about it. Actually, he was one of the few rehab professionals who never told me that I can never dance again. He said usually if it's someone's strength, you never forget that. For example, some guys there who can't walk but if you give them a football, they still remember how to kick it. When I told Tim about this, he asked me if that's the case, how come I don't remember how to walk again? That's a good question. I don't know the answer to that.

10 January 2007

First diary entry for the new year. I cannot believe how quickly a year has passed. There have been so many changes over the last year - I have gone back to part time work, I started running, and most noticeable - I have become a gym addict.

I think my addiction was so bad that during the Christmas break I was feeling really anxious and tired. We spent Christmas at my in-laws place up in Canberra like usual. The first couple of days was ok but on the third or forth day, I started to feel really unwell. My whole body just didn't seem to feel right. I had this terrible craving for a good workout, especially a BodyPump session. In the end, I was doing my running practice in the backyard of Helen and Mal's house. They have a large lawn so it was good for my running practice. I know Gavin has been on my case for a while for not doing enough running practice so this provided an excellent opportunity for me to practice.

I went to Taiwan with my parents and Lillian to visit my grandfather during the new year. It was a very short trip. We were only there for 5 days because I had to come back in time to go to work. I found it very challenging to walk around the airport between terminals because those walks are usually pretty long and people are always in a hurry. The last time I had to do this was going to Canberra which must have been more than a year ago. I remember feeling really self concious because the way I walked attracted many rude stares from passerbys. I felt a bit apprehensive about this journey because I don't like to be stared at and this time it's even worse because I'm travelling overseas and there is a lot more walking to do than the domestic terminals. To my surpirse, I coped with the long walks pretty well. I found it hard to keep up the pace from time to time but most of the time I was ok. I don't know if it has anything to do with the fact that I was wearing jeans convering my ankle brace but people hardly looked at me when I was walking. I don't know if it's because I'm less self concious these days since I have been going to gym and classes for a while or that my walking has improved so much that it's not as obvious as it was a year ago.

I was feeling very apprehensive about people's reaction to my walking since we were staying at at a 5 star hotel. I was worried that people would be very snobbish and would give me the rude stares I had to put up with before. To my surprise, nobody seemed to take much notice. At least, I didn't notice anybody staring at my walking.

I think it's quite amazing to see the difference in a year's time. I don't think I was able to travel like this last year. My walking was not as fast last year.

There is a gym at the hotel so I was able to go to the gym every day. My usual routine when I was there was getting up early in the morning, having a nice buffet breakfast and then 2 hours of gym session. There are not as many equipment at the gym as the Melbourne Uni gym so I had to use the dumb bells to do many of the exercises. It was a good way to get me used to use the dumb bells. Just before the Christmas break, Alex, the BodyPump instructor, suggested that I use dumb bells in the class instead of barbells. He thinks dumb bells are better for me because my weak side is forced to work instead of being carried by my stronger side.

I think the running practice I did over the Christmas period has paid off. I went to the running group today and Gavin was very pleased to see my improvement. He thought it was a major break through. He thought I was running much faster and better and has given me harder exercises to do today. He told me that I no longer need to see him every week. Instead, he wants to reduce my sessions to once every fortnight. I don't know if it has anything to do with him officially becoming half time at the hospital from next month. I gather he will need to offload a lot more patients. In any case, I don't mind it much because I'm trying to find some time to check out a pilates studio and also maybe some dance lessons.