18 May 2005
I had an appointment with Gavin this morning. I think I still haven’t fully recovered from Saturday, when we went to a friend’s beach house in Inverloch. We walked quite a bit on that day – at least it was quite a bit for me. The walk was a bit tricky, it included the backdoor pathway to the beach, which was a bit like hiking for me (uneven ground and steep), the actual beach, and on the way back we were walking on the main road which meant I had to stay off the road to avoid traffic. The walk felt like forever. Tim said it was about 2 km but I had a feeling it’s more than that. After that walk, I’m pretty convinced that I’m definitely not ready to go hiking yet. I haven’t been working very hard since Saturday. I just feel really tired. I have to be careful these days because I often cannot tell at the time I’m doing something until afterwards but by then , it’s too late. I remember when I was at MECRS, the neuropsychologist told me that I’ll need to pace myself because if I over-exhaust myself too much, I’d need more time to recover. I always thought she meant was more mental related but I suspect she meant both.
I really didn’t want to get out of bed this morning but I had to because I needed to get ready to go to Epworth. I dragged myself out of bed and thought I’d start with my exercise bike. I haven’t done that for a few days now. After about 15 minutes, I decided it was enough for me. I didn’t want to tired myself out so much or I won’t have any energy left for physio this morning.
Gavin was not there when I went walked in the physio room but one of his other patients was there - the man who had spinal injury. He was on the mobile so I didn’t talk to him. I found somewhere to sit down and waited for Gavin. When Gavin walked in, he pointed at my ankle brace and told me to take it off and start with my usual routine – mini trampoline and walking practice. I have been practicing walking around the house without my ankle brace sine Friday as instructed by him. I found the best way to do it is when I’m cooking. I need to walk around in the kitchen area and do things and it’s a good way for me to walk around without the brace and not thinking about it. I found that if I do my walking practice at home without the brace, I tend to focus on the fact that I’m not wearning the brace and tend to get very tense but if I take off my brace while I’m cooking, I still walk around without the brace but because I’m actually busy doing stuff, I don’t focus on not wearning the brace so much.
I was on the trampoline when Gavin came out to check on me. He told me to continue doing this and the walking practice for about 20 minutes because he needs to go and see a doctor. I was not sure whether he meant he had to go and see a doctor for his patient or for himself but it didn’t bother me anyway. I was quite used to do my exercises unsupervised. I did a few laps of walking and the trampoline when I was a bit distracted by some people around me. One guy was talking to another girl about what happened to him. I couldn’t help eavesdropping. Apparently, he had a car accident in NSW. He said he was doing about 110 km when the accident happened and he had broken legs and arms. I wonder whether he had any brain injury from that because I noticed he was speaking quite slowly. The girl he was talking to had a motorbike accident. Her walking does not seem to be too affected. Maybe her injury was only physical.
I could hear Gavin when I walked passed the other entrance of the physio room. Sure enough, he came out to check on me when I turned around and was walking back to the other side of the hallway. He looked at my walking and told me to do 2 steps and then pause. I didn’t quite understand what he meant by that. He demonstrated – start with my left foot, take a step with my left foot and then a step with my right foot and then pause. He said I tend to take one step and then pause and it’s slowing me down. He told me to do a few steps of this and then timed me with the 10 metres walk. He told me to practice this while he goes and take another patient for a walk. I have seen this patient before – an elderly lady. I think she probably had a stroke. He said he’ll time me again when he comes back. He thinks my speed should improve by 10 seconds. That’s quite ambitious I thought, 10 seconds is a lot. The more I think about it the more I think learning to walk again is a bit learning ballroom dancing. I remember I used to learn the steps and then just kept practising until I remember the routine. The left step, right step and pause of walking that Gavin just told me to do is a bit like learnig new steps in dancing. It takes a while to get used to. I found that by doing this, I actually take a bigger right step. It’s strange but I can actually take a bigger right step without even thinking about it.
When Gavin came back, he left this elderly lady in the wheelchair to rest and then he timed me again. I was quite curious to find out whether the speed of my walking has improved by 10 seconds. He showed me the stopwatch and it says 31 seconds. He said it should be about 30 seconds but he pressed it twice so it stopped at 31 seconds. He told me it was 50 seconds when he timed me previously. He was quite amazed by the improvement as well. This is twice what he estimated. He said when he timed me before I went to Canberra, I had the brace on and it was about 1 minute 20 or 30 seconds. He said the aim now is for me to walk faster. I told him I felt I was sticking out my butt a bit when I tried to walk a bit faster. He checked but didn’t think it’s as bad as I described. When I walked down the hallway, I checked again and still noticed I stuck my butt out a bit. I told him I noticed that I tend to stick out my butt when my weight is on the left and just about to take a step with my right foot. He said I’m right because my left hip tend to collapse when I put weight on it. But he said this is just due to weakness and as I get stronger, it will improve.
When I was walking down the hallway, I heard the elderly lady’s husband asking him what happened to me. I couldn’t hear what Gavin said but I heard the guy said oh, poor girl. I guess he was curious about my condition but probably too embarrassed to ask me. I was surprised that Gavin actually told him anything. I remembered asking Jane, the physio at MECRS, about what happened to someone and she said ‘why don’t you ask her’ instead of telling me what happened to that person.
I told Gavin that walking without the brace seems to give different feedback to my foot. I feel my calf hurts a bit and from time to time my knee hyperextends. He said my leg actually works harder without the brace and I should do that all the time. I told him that when I cook, I tend to take off my brace because I walk around without the brace but because I’m concentrating on something else, I don’t tend to think about that I’m walking without the brace on. However, he told me I still need more structured practice like this. He thinks I should practice at least half an hour everyday and try to walk as fast as possible. He said if I want some distraction, I can have the music on or put on a tape with his voice telling me to walk faster. This reminds me of that energy drink commercial again. He said some people can run without the brace on so I should be able to walk without it. I commented that I thought I was the only one with this problem but he said it’s actually quite common and I’m not the only one having this problem. I was surprised to hear that there are other people like that because I’ve never seen them around. He said they usually come in the afternoon so I don’t see them. He said some of them used to wear those big heavy braces but are now able to run without the braces. I assumed he meant the dynamic AFO. I told him I have one as well. He said he’ll have to burn both of my braces. He said by wearing the brace, I’m actually compensating. He said I shouldn’t want to compensate, I want recovery. He said if I’m not getting better two years down the track, that’s the time to think about compensating but now I should focus on recovery. Again, I think this is really positive attitude. Unlike at MECRS, he hasn’t told me to give up and get used to have an impairment for the rest of my life.
I really didn’t want to get out of bed this morning but I had to because I needed to get ready to go to Epworth. I dragged myself out of bed and thought I’d start with my exercise bike. I haven’t done that for a few days now. After about 15 minutes, I decided it was enough for me. I didn’t want to tired myself out so much or I won’t have any energy left for physio this morning.
Gavin was not there when I went walked in the physio room but one of his other patients was there - the man who had spinal injury. He was on the mobile so I didn’t talk to him. I found somewhere to sit down and waited for Gavin. When Gavin walked in, he pointed at my ankle brace and told me to take it off and start with my usual routine – mini trampoline and walking practice. I have been practicing walking around the house without my ankle brace sine Friday as instructed by him. I found the best way to do it is when I’m cooking. I need to walk around in the kitchen area and do things and it’s a good way for me to walk around without the brace and not thinking about it. I found that if I do my walking practice at home without the brace, I tend to focus on the fact that I’m not wearning the brace and tend to get very tense but if I take off my brace while I’m cooking, I still walk around without the brace but because I’m actually busy doing stuff, I don’t focus on not wearning the brace so much.
I was on the trampoline when Gavin came out to check on me. He told me to continue doing this and the walking practice for about 20 minutes because he needs to go and see a doctor. I was not sure whether he meant he had to go and see a doctor for his patient or for himself but it didn’t bother me anyway. I was quite used to do my exercises unsupervised. I did a few laps of walking and the trampoline when I was a bit distracted by some people around me. One guy was talking to another girl about what happened to him. I couldn’t help eavesdropping. Apparently, he had a car accident in NSW. He said he was doing about 110 km when the accident happened and he had broken legs and arms. I wonder whether he had any brain injury from that because I noticed he was speaking quite slowly. The girl he was talking to had a motorbike accident. Her walking does not seem to be too affected. Maybe her injury was only physical.
I could hear Gavin when I walked passed the other entrance of the physio room. Sure enough, he came out to check on me when I turned around and was walking back to the other side of the hallway. He looked at my walking and told me to do 2 steps and then pause. I didn’t quite understand what he meant by that. He demonstrated – start with my left foot, take a step with my left foot and then a step with my right foot and then pause. He said I tend to take one step and then pause and it’s slowing me down. He told me to do a few steps of this and then timed me with the 10 metres walk. He told me to practice this while he goes and take another patient for a walk. I have seen this patient before – an elderly lady. I think she probably had a stroke. He said he’ll time me again when he comes back. He thinks my speed should improve by 10 seconds. That’s quite ambitious I thought, 10 seconds is a lot. The more I think about it the more I think learning to walk again is a bit learning ballroom dancing. I remember I used to learn the steps and then just kept practising until I remember the routine. The left step, right step and pause of walking that Gavin just told me to do is a bit like learnig new steps in dancing. It takes a while to get used to. I found that by doing this, I actually take a bigger right step. It’s strange but I can actually take a bigger right step without even thinking about it.
When Gavin came back, he left this elderly lady in the wheelchair to rest and then he timed me again. I was quite curious to find out whether the speed of my walking has improved by 10 seconds. He showed me the stopwatch and it says 31 seconds. He said it should be about 30 seconds but he pressed it twice so it stopped at 31 seconds. He told me it was 50 seconds when he timed me previously. He was quite amazed by the improvement as well. This is twice what he estimated. He said when he timed me before I went to Canberra, I had the brace on and it was about 1 minute 20 or 30 seconds. He said the aim now is for me to walk faster. I told him I felt I was sticking out my butt a bit when I tried to walk a bit faster. He checked but didn’t think it’s as bad as I described. When I walked down the hallway, I checked again and still noticed I stuck my butt out a bit. I told him I noticed that I tend to stick out my butt when my weight is on the left and just about to take a step with my right foot. He said I’m right because my left hip tend to collapse when I put weight on it. But he said this is just due to weakness and as I get stronger, it will improve.
When I was walking down the hallway, I heard the elderly lady’s husband asking him what happened to me. I couldn’t hear what Gavin said but I heard the guy said oh, poor girl. I guess he was curious about my condition but probably too embarrassed to ask me. I was surprised that Gavin actually told him anything. I remembered asking Jane, the physio at MECRS, about what happened to someone and she said ‘why don’t you ask her’ instead of telling me what happened to that person.
I told Gavin that walking without the brace seems to give different feedback to my foot. I feel my calf hurts a bit and from time to time my knee hyperextends. He said my leg actually works harder without the brace and I should do that all the time. I told him that when I cook, I tend to take off my brace because I walk around without the brace but because I’m concentrating on something else, I don’t tend to think about that I’m walking without the brace on. However, he told me I still need more structured practice like this. He thinks I should practice at least half an hour everyday and try to walk as fast as possible. He said if I want some distraction, I can have the music on or put on a tape with his voice telling me to walk faster. This reminds me of that energy drink commercial again. He said some people can run without the brace on so I should be able to walk without it. I commented that I thought I was the only one with this problem but he said it’s actually quite common and I’m not the only one having this problem. I was surprised to hear that there are other people like that because I’ve never seen them around. He said they usually come in the afternoon so I don’t see them. He said some of them used to wear those big heavy braces but are now able to run without the braces. I assumed he meant the dynamic AFO. I told him I have one as well. He said he’ll have to burn both of my braces. He said by wearing the brace, I’m actually compensating. He said I shouldn’t want to compensate, I want recovery. He said if I’m not getting better two years down the track, that’s the time to think about compensating but now I should focus on recovery. Again, I think this is really positive attitude. Unlike at MECRS, he hasn’t told me to give up and get used to have an impairment for the rest of my life.
posted by Teresa Liu at 12:13 AM
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