11 May 2005
Haven't had physios for about two weeks now. My appointment with Gavin was at 11 a.m. I didn't do a full 30 minutes exercise bike this morning because I was feeling a bit tired. It's quite stressful when the builders are in and out of the house a lot. Apart from the dust and the noise, the hardest thing to cope is the lack of privacy and personal space.
I was quite early for my appointment. Maybe I just couldn't wait to get out of the house - away from the noise, the dust, and the builders. Gavin was working with an elderly patient when I got there. I sat down and watched them. Watching them sort of reminds me what I was like before. He was trying to get the patient to walk. He was sitting on one of those stools with wheels while placing the patient's foot forward, a bit like what Jane was doing when I first started learning how to walk again at MECRS. The difference is when I was learning, Jane had either Emily or someone else to help in supporting me but Gavin was doing this alone. I was quite surprised to see that he let the patient hold on to his head for support, instead of using some gait aid. It must be quite unconfortable for both of them.
Gavin set up a mini trampoline for me and asked me to start with that first. I think I know the drill well enough by now. I start with the trampoline with ankle brace and then without the brace and then the walking practice combined with the trampoline I bought a pair of runners while in Canberra. I used to wear those daggy ones with velcro instead of shoe laces but I think it’s time for me to get a decent pair of runners with shoe laces instead of velcro. The runners I bought in Canberra are great except it’s quite troublesome when putting it on with the ankle brace. . When Gavin told me to get on the trampoline without the brace, I told him that it’s fine to take off my ankle brace but it will probably take me a while put it back on with my new runners. At first, he thought I had trouble tie up the shoe laces so he told me that I can get those elastice shoe laces. I had no idea what they were but he said it’s the same as the normal shoe laces except they are elastic ones so I don’t even need to untie them to put on the shoes. I told him that the shoe laces are not my problem, the tricky bit is putting on the shoe with the brace. He said it wouldn’t be a problem if I don’t wear the brace anymore. Somehow I knew he was going to say that.
He left me there to do my practice while he went and check on other patients. Another patient just walked in with crutches. She is accompanied by (I presume) her parents. They look Chinese but I couldn’t tell where they came from. The parents looked at me up and down while I was on the trampoline. I didn’t like their stare but I didn’t say anything. I overheard them talking in Cantonese so I think they are probably from Hong Kong or Maylasia. It turned out that she is also Gavin’s patient. I think she had some kind of fracture on the leg because I overheard them talking. The parents had many questions so they stood there talking for a while. I was a bit annoyed but was trying to concentrate on my practice. I haven’t been practising my walking for a while because I was away in Canberra and when I got home, it’s hard to compete with the builders for our narrow hallway. This is a good opportunity for me do to some walking practice while they were all talking. At least, I know the parents wouldn’t be staring at me. In a way, I felt a bit lonely that Tim couldn’t be there for me. I know he always thinks I’m a grown up and I should be able to look after myself. I know it’s fine for me to go there on my own but sometimes, I think it’d be nice to have someone there with me just to see what I’m doing and can help me asking questions and remembering all the answers.
After Gavin finished with them, he got me to go up and down the stairs. I haven’t done this before without the ankle brace on so it was a bit of challenge. Gavin kept reminding me to relax my shoulders and arms. He said he felt his shoulders were so tense just by looking at me. It’s strange I didn’t even know my shoulders were tense. I couldn’t see myself and I certainly didn’t feel it. On the way down, Gavin kept reminding me (again) to relax my arms. I didn’t know I was so tense but at one stage he commented that he didn’t know I could ‘multi-tasking’. I didn’t understand what he meant. He said I was going downstairs and sqeezing his hand at the same time. I didn’t even notice I was squeezing his hand. All my concentration was on placing my foot carefully on the step. I guess I must have been squeezing his hand quite hard because at one point he stopped and complained that I was hurting his hand so much that he probably won’t be able to type on the keyboard. Maybe I should use my left hand for support next time.
I did a few more laps of walking practice after the stairs. Gavin watched and thought I was doing better. He thought I was a lot faster than before. He said this was the speed I started with a few weeks ago with ankle brace on and now I’m doing about the same without the brace on. He thinks my legs are a bit stronger than before. I told him that I have worked very hard on my legs while I was in Canberra – with the combination of stepper and elliptical.
At the end of the session, Gavin asked me to bring my shoulder exercises with me next time because he wants to make some changes. I didn’t ask him why but I presume the orthopaedics may have communicated with them regarding the specific strengthening I need to do. He also commented that he doesn’t think my ankle is inverting as much as a few weeks ago. He told me that I must do half an hour of walking practice without brace every day. I asked him whether that’s going to help with the inversion. He said it should help but there is no guarantee. I asked him whether I should push for the Botox. He said (again) Botox won’t help me and it may even make my walking worse. That’s the part I wish Tim was there to take note for me because it just went over my head (again). He said he’s seen so many patients with Botox injections and it didn’t work on all of them. He put his leg up on the couch and was pointing at certain muscles and explained to me where they normally inject. I thought he was pointing at tib ante but he said no, it’s tib post. I thought tib post is deep in the calf and didn’t know it actually runs all the way down near the ankle. He said normally the injection goes in the tib post. He didn’t think my problem was spasticity and an injection in tib post is not going to do me any good. In fact, he thinks it’s going to make my walking worse. He said if he had thought a Botox would help, they would have arranged that for me a few months ago. I wish Tim was there with me because I don’t think I fully understood what Gavin was on about. Tim and I had this discussion many times. He has been pushing me to hassel John Olver’s secretary to arrange for the Botox as John promised but I told Tim that Gavin didn’t think it was necessary. Tim is worried that Gavin may be wrong since John seemed to be so confident it would work. I don’t know who to believe anymore. I think my instinct tells me I should trust Gavin more since he doesn’t need to answer his mobile phone all the time or running around like a headless chook to get his visa for overseas trips.
I was quite early for my appointment. Maybe I just couldn't wait to get out of the house - away from the noise, the dust, and the builders. Gavin was working with an elderly patient when I got there. I sat down and watched them. Watching them sort of reminds me what I was like before. He was trying to get the patient to walk. He was sitting on one of those stools with wheels while placing the patient's foot forward, a bit like what Jane was doing when I first started learning how to walk again at MECRS. The difference is when I was learning, Jane had either Emily or someone else to help in supporting me but Gavin was doing this alone. I was quite surprised to see that he let the patient hold on to his head for support, instead of using some gait aid. It must be quite unconfortable for both of them.
Gavin set up a mini trampoline for me and asked me to start with that first. I think I know the drill well enough by now. I start with the trampoline with ankle brace and then without the brace and then the walking practice combined with the trampoline I bought a pair of runners while in Canberra. I used to wear those daggy ones with velcro instead of shoe laces but I think it’s time for me to get a decent pair of runners with shoe laces instead of velcro. The runners I bought in Canberra are great except it’s quite troublesome when putting it on with the ankle brace. . When Gavin told me to get on the trampoline without the brace, I told him that it’s fine to take off my ankle brace but it will probably take me a while put it back on with my new runners. At first, he thought I had trouble tie up the shoe laces so he told me that I can get those elastice shoe laces. I had no idea what they were but he said it’s the same as the normal shoe laces except they are elastic ones so I don’t even need to untie them to put on the shoes. I told him that the shoe laces are not my problem, the tricky bit is putting on the shoe with the brace. He said it wouldn’t be a problem if I don’t wear the brace anymore. Somehow I knew he was going to say that.
He left me there to do my practice while he went and check on other patients. Another patient just walked in with crutches. She is accompanied by (I presume) her parents. They look Chinese but I couldn’t tell where they came from. The parents looked at me up and down while I was on the trampoline. I didn’t like their stare but I didn’t say anything. I overheard them talking in Cantonese so I think they are probably from Hong Kong or Maylasia. It turned out that she is also Gavin’s patient. I think she had some kind of fracture on the leg because I overheard them talking. The parents had many questions so they stood there talking for a while. I was a bit annoyed but was trying to concentrate on my practice. I haven’t been practising my walking for a while because I was away in Canberra and when I got home, it’s hard to compete with the builders for our narrow hallway. This is a good opportunity for me do to some walking practice while they were all talking. At least, I know the parents wouldn’t be staring at me. In a way, I felt a bit lonely that Tim couldn’t be there for me. I know he always thinks I’m a grown up and I should be able to look after myself. I know it’s fine for me to go there on my own but sometimes, I think it’d be nice to have someone there with me just to see what I’m doing and can help me asking questions and remembering all the answers.
After Gavin finished with them, he got me to go up and down the stairs. I haven’t done this before without the ankle brace on so it was a bit of challenge. Gavin kept reminding me to relax my shoulders and arms. He said he felt his shoulders were so tense just by looking at me. It’s strange I didn’t even know my shoulders were tense. I couldn’t see myself and I certainly didn’t feel it. On the way down, Gavin kept reminding me (again) to relax my arms. I didn’t know I was so tense but at one stage he commented that he didn’t know I could ‘multi-tasking’. I didn’t understand what he meant. He said I was going downstairs and sqeezing his hand at the same time. I didn’t even notice I was squeezing his hand. All my concentration was on placing my foot carefully on the step. I guess I must have been squeezing his hand quite hard because at one point he stopped and complained that I was hurting his hand so much that he probably won’t be able to type on the keyboard. Maybe I should use my left hand for support next time.
I did a few more laps of walking practice after the stairs. Gavin watched and thought I was doing better. He thought I was a lot faster than before. He said this was the speed I started with a few weeks ago with ankle brace on and now I’m doing about the same without the brace on. He thinks my legs are a bit stronger than before. I told him that I have worked very hard on my legs while I was in Canberra – with the combination of stepper and elliptical.
At the end of the session, Gavin asked me to bring my shoulder exercises with me next time because he wants to make some changes. I didn’t ask him why but I presume the orthopaedics may have communicated with them regarding the specific strengthening I need to do. He also commented that he doesn’t think my ankle is inverting as much as a few weeks ago. He told me that I must do half an hour of walking practice without brace every day. I asked him whether that’s going to help with the inversion. He said it should help but there is no guarantee. I asked him whether I should push for the Botox. He said (again) Botox won’t help me and it may even make my walking worse. That’s the part I wish Tim was there to take note for me because it just went over my head (again). He said he’s seen so many patients with Botox injections and it didn’t work on all of them. He put his leg up on the couch and was pointing at certain muscles and explained to me where they normally inject. I thought he was pointing at tib ante but he said no, it’s tib post. I thought tib post is deep in the calf and didn’t know it actually runs all the way down near the ankle. He said normally the injection goes in the tib post. He didn’t think my problem was spasticity and an injection in tib post is not going to do me any good. In fact, he thinks it’s going to make my walking worse. He said if he had thought a Botox would help, they would have arranged that for me a few months ago. I wish Tim was there with me because I don’t think I fully understood what Gavin was on about. Tim and I had this discussion many times. He has been pushing me to hassel John Olver’s secretary to arrange for the Botox as John promised but I told Tim that Gavin didn’t think it was necessary. Tim is worried that Gavin may be wrong since John seemed to be so confident it would work. I don’t know who to believe anymore. I think my instinct tells me I should trust Gavin more since he doesn’t need to answer his mobile phone all the time or running around like a headless chook to get his visa for overseas trips.
posted by Teresa Liu at 8:37 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home