5 April 2005
I had to go to the self help group this morning so I asked Tim to give me a lift after dropping Lillian off at childcare. I thought about driving myself there but I was not sure whether there is parking close by. I know there is Wilson parking at MECRS but it's quite far from the pool. I need to find out if there is somewhere else I can park before I will drive there.
I got there early enough but there was someone in the pool already. I put my bag down on a chair and just about to go to the office to pay, Margaret, a physio at MECRS, saw me and said hello to me, she walked up to me to collect the money to save me from walking up there. It's very nice of her to do that. It was about 8.50 a.m. when I got in the pool. By the time I finished all the arm exercises, I looked up and it was only 9 a.m. I still had 45 minutes. I did one more round of arm exercises before I moved on to some leg exercises and the range of movement exercise (for arm) which requires the use of floats. Fiona used to help me put on the float when I needed to but now I have to do that myself. It's quite tricky when you try to put it just under your butt while you're lying in the pool. I have found an easier way to do it these days - I hold on to the rail with my right hand and bring my legs up and rest them on the rail and then I can put the float under me. When I finished all the exercises - twice!, I still had time to do more. I thought may be I could do a bit of swimming. I grabbed a noodle and put it under my tummy for support and tried to do some breast strokes. I found that despite the fact that I was using my right side more, I didn't go around in a circle like before. I was able to do a couple of laps this time. The ankle was still a big problem - it kept inverting when I was swimming and it was very uncomfortable. After the swimming, I still had time. The session finishes at 9.45 a.m. and I've decided that I should leave the pool last so I could be the last one to go to the shower. I might have to wait but at least I know I won't have to rush because everyone else should have gone by then.
When I got home, I was reading a Jamie Oliver cookbook about roasting chicken. Tim thought it would be nice to have home roast chicken so I bought a whole chicken except I'm not too sure what's the best way to roast it so I thought I should refer to a cookbook. I had to get some disposable baking trays from the top shelf of the cupboard which I couldn't reach. I got the stepladder out and tried to use it. This is the first time I've done it since the operation. I stepped on the lower step with my right foot but still couldn't reach the shelf. I think I would need to step up on the top step to reach it except the ladder is not very wide and it's not quite like going upstairs. This was more tricky than I expected. I had to hold on to the cupboard door for security and then step up a step and keep my balance. Finally, I was able to get the baking tray but coming down was even worse - I had to make sure I can step back and down with my left foot and then right foot. I'm sure this would be a very simple task for most people but for me, it was just another challenge. I knew I had to overcome my fears. I think one thing Gavin taught/pushed me is to overcome my fears and take more risk - such as ditching my walking stick (I didn't tell him that I still take it to hydro with me because my ankle inverts so much when I get out of the pool). Being an accountant, I'm naturally risk-averse. It's quite ironic this had happened to me. I remember that on many occassions, one of Tim's friends from Trinity College days, Andy, asked us to go skiing in Queenstown and I refused because I've never been and didn't want to break my leg or my neck. I wished I had gone with them if I knew this was going to happen to me.
I washed the chicken thoroughly and now I can understand why some people are vegetarians. It looks like a small baby - quite spooky in some way. After stuffing it with lemon, bay leaves and rosemary and rubbed it with salt and pepper, I put it back in the fridge. I had an appointment with Jill, from ARBIAS, at 3 pm. Now that I'm discharged from MECRS, I don't have access to social work. Not that I need any in particular but I think what Dale did with me was quite valuable - without the gradual transition, I don't think I would be able to go out anywhere these days. The truth is I still don't like going out these days. I just feel very self concious all the time and I don't enjoy myself when I feel like that. I think the feeling self concious issue has always been there. I remember when Tim and I were training for ballroom dancing many years ago, I always felt very self concious especially when there were good dancers around. I would refuse to get up and dance with Tim when there were good dancers around us because I felt so self concious and stupid. Now, I feel self concious all the time.
When Jill came in the afternoon, she looked at what has to be done with me. At first, she thought there was nothing they could help me with so she suggested to put me back on the waiting list until I need their service again. Just as we were finishing up, I mentioned that I don't go out much these days because I don't like people staring at me or asking what happened to me. She spotted that there may be some issues I need help with - coping and dealing with people's curiosity. She kept using the word 'disability' and I really don't like it but didn't say anything. It's a bit like I can say I'm fat but nobody else is allowed to. I told her that there are a few things I want to do, such as going to a hairdresser, an optometrist and shopping for clothes. She told me to make an appointment with the hairdresser and let her know so she can take me there. I think it would be good because I don't really want to answer all the questions such as what happened to me etc.
By the time she left, it was already 4.30 pm. I couldn't believe she was here for 1 1/2 hours. I put the chicken in the oven. According to the Jamie Oliver cookbook, it will take about 1 hour to cook. I'm a bit anxious because I don't know whether the chicken will be ready at our normal dinner time - 6.30 pm. When Tim picked up Lillian from childcare, he said he'd go for a run with Lillian (in the pram). I told him to take as much time as possible so by the time they come back, hopefully the chicken will be ready. When they came back, the chicken was done but Tim asked me where is the gravy. What gravy? I had no idea. It's not mentioned in the cookbook. Tim insisted that roast chicken without gravy is not real roast chicken. He referred to 'The Joy of Cooking' for ideas but in the end, decided to call Helen, his mother, for help. Helen gave him some direction over the phone. Finally, we could all sit down to have dinner! Tim commented that this is the best roast chicken he had for years, especially the gravy!
I got there early enough but there was someone in the pool already. I put my bag down on a chair and just about to go to the office to pay, Margaret, a physio at MECRS, saw me and said hello to me, she walked up to me to collect the money to save me from walking up there. It's very nice of her to do that. It was about 8.50 a.m. when I got in the pool. By the time I finished all the arm exercises, I looked up and it was only 9 a.m. I still had 45 minutes. I did one more round of arm exercises before I moved on to some leg exercises and the range of movement exercise (for arm) which requires the use of floats. Fiona used to help me put on the float when I needed to but now I have to do that myself. It's quite tricky when you try to put it just under your butt while you're lying in the pool. I have found an easier way to do it these days - I hold on to the rail with my right hand and bring my legs up and rest them on the rail and then I can put the float under me. When I finished all the exercises - twice!, I still had time to do more. I thought may be I could do a bit of swimming. I grabbed a noodle and put it under my tummy for support and tried to do some breast strokes. I found that despite the fact that I was using my right side more, I didn't go around in a circle like before. I was able to do a couple of laps this time. The ankle was still a big problem - it kept inverting when I was swimming and it was very uncomfortable. After the swimming, I still had time. The session finishes at 9.45 a.m. and I've decided that I should leave the pool last so I could be the last one to go to the shower. I might have to wait but at least I know I won't have to rush because everyone else should have gone by then.
When I got home, I was reading a Jamie Oliver cookbook about roasting chicken. Tim thought it would be nice to have home roast chicken so I bought a whole chicken except I'm not too sure what's the best way to roast it so I thought I should refer to a cookbook. I had to get some disposable baking trays from the top shelf of the cupboard which I couldn't reach. I got the stepladder out and tried to use it. This is the first time I've done it since the operation. I stepped on the lower step with my right foot but still couldn't reach the shelf. I think I would need to step up on the top step to reach it except the ladder is not very wide and it's not quite like going upstairs. This was more tricky than I expected. I had to hold on to the cupboard door for security and then step up a step and keep my balance. Finally, I was able to get the baking tray but coming down was even worse - I had to make sure I can step back and down with my left foot and then right foot. I'm sure this would be a very simple task for most people but for me, it was just another challenge. I knew I had to overcome my fears. I think one thing Gavin taught/pushed me is to overcome my fears and take more risk - such as ditching my walking stick (I didn't tell him that I still take it to hydro with me because my ankle inverts so much when I get out of the pool). Being an accountant, I'm naturally risk-averse. It's quite ironic this had happened to me. I remember that on many occassions, one of Tim's friends from Trinity College days, Andy, asked us to go skiing in Queenstown and I refused because I've never been and didn't want to break my leg or my neck. I wished I had gone with them if I knew this was going to happen to me.
I washed the chicken thoroughly and now I can understand why some people are vegetarians. It looks like a small baby - quite spooky in some way. After stuffing it with lemon, bay leaves and rosemary and rubbed it with salt and pepper, I put it back in the fridge. I had an appointment with Jill, from ARBIAS, at 3 pm. Now that I'm discharged from MECRS, I don't have access to social work. Not that I need any in particular but I think what Dale did with me was quite valuable - without the gradual transition, I don't think I would be able to go out anywhere these days. The truth is I still don't like going out these days. I just feel very self concious all the time and I don't enjoy myself when I feel like that. I think the feeling self concious issue has always been there. I remember when Tim and I were training for ballroom dancing many years ago, I always felt very self concious especially when there were good dancers around. I would refuse to get up and dance with Tim when there were good dancers around us because I felt so self concious and stupid. Now, I feel self concious all the time.
When Jill came in the afternoon, she looked at what has to be done with me. At first, she thought there was nothing they could help me with so she suggested to put me back on the waiting list until I need their service again. Just as we were finishing up, I mentioned that I don't go out much these days because I don't like people staring at me or asking what happened to me. She spotted that there may be some issues I need help with - coping and dealing with people's curiosity. She kept using the word 'disability' and I really don't like it but didn't say anything. It's a bit like I can say I'm fat but nobody else is allowed to. I told her that there are a few things I want to do, such as going to a hairdresser, an optometrist and shopping for clothes. She told me to make an appointment with the hairdresser and let her know so she can take me there. I think it would be good because I don't really want to answer all the questions such as what happened to me etc.
By the time she left, it was already 4.30 pm. I couldn't believe she was here for 1 1/2 hours. I put the chicken in the oven. According to the Jamie Oliver cookbook, it will take about 1 hour to cook. I'm a bit anxious because I don't know whether the chicken will be ready at our normal dinner time - 6.30 pm. When Tim picked up Lillian from childcare, he said he'd go for a run with Lillian (in the pram). I told him to take as much time as possible so by the time they come back, hopefully the chicken will be ready. When they came back, the chicken was done but Tim asked me where is the gravy. What gravy? I had no idea. It's not mentioned in the cookbook. Tim insisted that roast chicken without gravy is not real roast chicken. He referred to 'The Joy of Cooking' for ideas but in the end, decided to call Helen, his mother, for help. Helen gave him some direction over the phone. Finally, we could all sit down to have dinner! Tim commented that this is the best roast chicken he had for years, especially the gravy!
posted by Teresa Liu at 11:57 PM
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