20 April 2005
I had an appointment with Gavin this morning. I did my usual exercise bike and mini trampoline before taking a taxi to Epworth.
When I was in the taxi, the taxi driver asked me what happened to me. I told him I had a brain surgery to remove a tumour. It’s not something I’d like to talk about but I get asked so often that I’m quite used to it now. He asked me if I had any headaches. I told him for years I had that all the time. He started to tell me that one of his friends has terrible headaches a lot but the doctors didn’t know what’s wrong with him so he is in constant pain. I asked him whether his friend had an MRI or CT. He doesn’t know. I told him to tell his friend to get a scan or MRI just in case. He thanked me for my advice. It’s kind of strange that people are asking me for medical advice. Last time I had a taxi driver asking me about stroke and this time, brain tumour. I find it less consuming than someone asking me for tax advice. I guess it’s because if it’s a medical question, I don’t know much anyway so I don’t have to think very hard about it.
When I got to Epworth, Gavin was with another patient so I sat down and waited for him. While I was waiting, I was looking around and then I found some exercise sheets pinned up on the noticeboard. I looked again and these are actually exercises prescribed for other patients. I was quite excited about my finding and read through them all to see if I can pick something for myself. When Gavin came in, he told me to start with the trampoline. He got me to start with the normal jogging and then try to lift right leg up and then lifting left leg up. He left me there to practice for a while and when he came back he asked me to do the same jogging but alternative between lifting right and left leg up. I did quite a bit of work on my legs over the last two days and my left calf is quite sore. I told him that my calf is sore and he said that’s good because it means it’s working hard on my calf muscles.
After the trampoline, he asked me to do some walking down the hallway. He asked me what did I think of my walking. I told him that I couldn’t really tell without looking at myself in the mirror but I think it’s probably more continuous. He agreed but commented that my left hip tend to collapse when I walk so I need to strengthen it. He said my walking practice should be combined with the trampoline. He thinks I should start with the trampoline first and then walk one lap and then back on the trampoline for 30 seconds and do another lap of walking and so on. He said the trampoline work should help me to walk faster. After a few laps of walking and trampoline, he set me up on the stepper. He asked me if I need a rest first – that really surprised me because he’s never asked me that before. Maybe he’s been treating too many elderly patients lately! I told him I’m actually ok. He demonstrated what he wanted me to do – push up through my arms and step up and down on the stepper like running. It looked easy when he did it but I couldn’t even get started. It’s much easier to use it like a step machine just like going upstairs but very hard do run on it. He helped me up to get me started and then told me to do it for about 10 minutes. He said I’ll probably feel pretty stuffed after this. I asked him what muscles am I working on. He told me it’s the glutes and the quads. He left me alone there to practice while he went to check on another patient
After a few attempts, I finally got it started without help but I couldn’t stay on it for very long – once I loose the rhythm, I just have to start again. I actually quite enjoyed this because it’s something new and I found it quite challenging to figure out a way that I can stay on it for longer. Gavin came back to check on me before the ten minutes was up. I almost felt like telling him to go to the other patient because I was having so much fun on the stepper and I haven’t finished yet. Ten minutes went pass very quickly and Gavin reminded me that I’ve done 10 minutes of it and that’s enough. He asked me if I was exhausted. I actually didn’t feel too bad. I told him I felt ok now but I’ll probably feel stuffed later. He said not many people can do 10 minutes of what I just did. I told him I didn’t actually do 10 minutes – I had to stop and start again. He told me that’s how other people do it as well. He thinks I’m probably a lot stronger and fitter now with all the exercises I’ve been doing. Just before my session finished, I asked him whether John is back because my orthopaedics, Martin, was going to write him a note. He asked me what did the orthopaedics say. I told him Martin thought my shoulder has recovered well and all I need is more physio work now. I also told him that Martin mentioned some stretches I need to do for the shoulder but I’m not sure what stretches and he’s going to write a note to John. From the description, it sounds like external and internal rotations. Gavin said he didn’t think I need the streches but strengthening the shoulder, especially upward direction. He said he wants to spend half of the session on the shoulder next time.
On the way back, the taxi driver asked me what happened to me. When I told him that I had a brain tumour removed, he was quite shocked and commented that I’m so young and pretty. I told him that it has nothing to do with age. I complained to him that people always ask me what happened to your leg and people often thought I had a broken leg. He was quite apologetic and said it’s fine if I don’t want to talk about it. I told him that’s fine. I’m used to it now. It’s quite refreshing to know there are still sensitive people out there. He thought I recovered really well considering I had a brain surgery. He asked me if the surgery has affected my cognitive function. I told him probably not but often I wonder if it has and the difference could be so subtle that people can’t really tell. He said he can’t tell at all so I must be ok. I know he’s trying to be nice but I felt like asking him if he is qualified in that area . I told him that I get quite scared whenever I forget something because I don’t know if it’s normal to forget something sometimes or it’s caused my the surgery. He said it’s a good sign if I keep questioning that because it means I’m aware of what’s going on. People who have cognitive deficit often don’t know that they have problems. Come to think of it, it does make sense. It kind of made me feel better to think that way. He said I’m very lucky because the surgery only affected me physically and I will get better. He thinks it’s a lot worse to have cognitive deficits. I think he is right.
In a way, I think this happened to me for a good reason(s). For a start, it made me realise what a good husband Tim is. He’s been so supportive throughout the whole episode and has always remained positive. In the past, I always wonder how much does he love me. I don’t wonder about that anymore because he must love me very much to go through this with me. It also made me realise what good friends Neil and Rosemary are. They have worked with me on my arm as soon as they found out MECRS didn’t do anything about it. They are not trained physios but they took their time to think about exercises to help me with the recovery of my arm. You can’t get better friends than that. Another good thing is that I actually have a lot more time cooking and quite enjoy it. Apart from my physical ‘disability’, I kind of enjoy my life now – ok. I don’t like the way I look now but nobody is perfectly happy with their looks anyway. I must say I panic when I think about going back to work. Tim thinks one good thing came out of this is that I’m less career minded. That’s true. It makes me wonder why I spent endless hours in the office instead of enjoying life. I think my whole outlook in life has changed (for the better).
When I was in the taxi, the taxi driver asked me what happened to me. I told him I had a brain surgery to remove a tumour. It’s not something I’d like to talk about but I get asked so often that I’m quite used to it now. He asked me if I had any headaches. I told him for years I had that all the time. He started to tell me that one of his friends has terrible headaches a lot but the doctors didn’t know what’s wrong with him so he is in constant pain. I asked him whether his friend had an MRI or CT. He doesn’t know. I told him to tell his friend to get a scan or MRI just in case. He thanked me for my advice. It’s kind of strange that people are asking me for medical advice. Last time I had a taxi driver asking me about stroke and this time, brain tumour. I find it less consuming than someone asking me for tax advice. I guess it’s because if it’s a medical question, I don’t know much anyway so I don’t have to think very hard about it.
When I got to Epworth, Gavin was with another patient so I sat down and waited for him. While I was waiting, I was looking around and then I found some exercise sheets pinned up on the noticeboard. I looked again and these are actually exercises prescribed for other patients. I was quite excited about my finding and read through them all to see if I can pick something for myself. When Gavin came in, he told me to start with the trampoline. He got me to start with the normal jogging and then try to lift right leg up and then lifting left leg up. He left me there to practice for a while and when he came back he asked me to do the same jogging but alternative between lifting right and left leg up. I did quite a bit of work on my legs over the last two days and my left calf is quite sore. I told him that my calf is sore and he said that’s good because it means it’s working hard on my calf muscles.
After the trampoline, he asked me to do some walking down the hallway. He asked me what did I think of my walking. I told him that I couldn’t really tell without looking at myself in the mirror but I think it’s probably more continuous. He agreed but commented that my left hip tend to collapse when I walk so I need to strengthen it. He said my walking practice should be combined with the trampoline. He thinks I should start with the trampoline first and then walk one lap and then back on the trampoline for 30 seconds and do another lap of walking and so on. He said the trampoline work should help me to walk faster. After a few laps of walking and trampoline, he set me up on the stepper. He asked me if I need a rest first – that really surprised me because he’s never asked me that before. Maybe he’s been treating too many elderly patients lately! I told him I’m actually ok. He demonstrated what he wanted me to do – push up through my arms and step up and down on the stepper like running. It looked easy when he did it but I couldn’t even get started. It’s much easier to use it like a step machine just like going upstairs but very hard do run on it. He helped me up to get me started and then told me to do it for about 10 minutes. He said I’ll probably feel pretty stuffed after this. I asked him what muscles am I working on. He told me it’s the glutes and the quads. He left me alone there to practice while he went to check on another patient
After a few attempts, I finally got it started without help but I couldn’t stay on it for very long – once I loose the rhythm, I just have to start again. I actually quite enjoyed this because it’s something new and I found it quite challenging to figure out a way that I can stay on it for longer. Gavin came back to check on me before the ten minutes was up. I almost felt like telling him to go to the other patient because I was having so much fun on the stepper and I haven’t finished yet. Ten minutes went pass very quickly and Gavin reminded me that I’ve done 10 minutes of it and that’s enough. He asked me if I was exhausted. I actually didn’t feel too bad. I told him I felt ok now but I’ll probably feel stuffed later. He said not many people can do 10 minutes of what I just did. I told him I didn’t actually do 10 minutes – I had to stop and start again. He told me that’s how other people do it as well. He thinks I’m probably a lot stronger and fitter now with all the exercises I’ve been doing. Just before my session finished, I asked him whether John is back because my orthopaedics, Martin, was going to write him a note. He asked me what did the orthopaedics say. I told him Martin thought my shoulder has recovered well and all I need is more physio work now. I also told him that Martin mentioned some stretches I need to do for the shoulder but I’m not sure what stretches and he’s going to write a note to John. From the description, it sounds like external and internal rotations. Gavin said he didn’t think I need the streches but strengthening the shoulder, especially upward direction. He said he wants to spend half of the session on the shoulder next time.
On the way back, the taxi driver asked me what happened to me. When I told him that I had a brain tumour removed, he was quite shocked and commented that I’m so young and pretty. I told him that it has nothing to do with age. I complained to him that people always ask me what happened to your leg and people often thought I had a broken leg. He was quite apologetic and said it’s fine if I don’t want to talk about it. I told him that’s fine. I’m used to it now. It’s quite refreshing to know there are still sensitive people out there. He thought I recovered really well considering I had a brain surgery. He asked me if the surgery has affected my cognitive function. I told him probably not but often I wonder if it has and the difference could be so subtle that people can’t really tell. He said he can’t tell at all so I must be ok. I know he’s trying to be nice but I felt like asking him if he is qualified in that area . I told him that I get quite scared whenever I forget something because I don’t know if it’s normal to forget something sometimes or it’s caused my the surgery. He said it’s a good sign if I keep questioning that because it means I’m aware of what’s going on. People who have cognitive deficit often don’t know that they have problems. Come to think of it, it does make sense. It kind of made me feel better to think that way. He said I’m very lucky because the surgery only affected me physically and I will get better. He thinks it’s a lot worse to have cognitive deficits. I think he is right.
In a way, I think this happened to me for a good reason(s). For a start, it made me realise what a good husband Tim is. He’s been so supportive throughout the whole episode and has always remained positive. In the past, I always wonder how much does he love me. I don’t wonder about that anymore because he must love me very much to go through this with me. It also made me realise what good friends Neil and Rosemary are. They have worked with me on my arm as soon as they found out MECRS didn’t do anything about it. They are not trained physios but they took their time to think about exercises to help me with the recovery of my arm. You can’t get better friends than that. Another good thing is that I actually have a lot more time cooking and quite enjoy it. Apart from my physical ‘disability’, I kind of enjoy my life now – ok. I don’t like the way I look now but nobody is perfectly happy with their looks anyway. I must say I panic when I think about going back to work. Tim thinks one good thing came out of this is that I’m less career minded. That’s true. It makes me wonder why I spent endless hours in the office instead of enjoying life. I think my whole outlook in life has changed (for the better).
posted by Teresa Liu at 11:50 PM
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