16 May 2006

Latest achievement to report: walked from the Melbourne Town Hall to home. We went to the Comedy Festival the week before with a group from Tim's work. The comedy was at the Melbourne Town Hall. After the show, we went to a Chinese restaurant in Little Bourke Street for dinner. Tim thought I'd porbably like to catch a taxi home afterwards but as we started walking, I actually felt like some exercises. I think my body was craving for more exercises since I had to leave early during my BodyStep class to get to the show. It was drizzling but it was not cold and I found the walk quite pleasant. We walked down Exhibition Street which turns into Rathdowne Street and then Grattan Street and turned to Lygon Street. We even managed to catch a late movie at Cinema Nova in Lygon Court before heading home. I don't know how far we walked but I think it's definitely more than 3 km. I think it's the first time I walked this far (in the city) since the operation. Come to think of it, I don't think I would have done this before my operation anyway. I think I would have complained how far it is and would have caught a tram or a taxi. These days, I really enjoy being able to move around. I guess after what I've been through, I appreciate and cherish the fact that I can walk and move around - things that we normally take for granted.

I'm still 'suffering' from the symptoms of an addict - constantly thinking and planning when I will go to the gym and classes and feel anxious when I haven't been. I started going to the gym before work on Monday mornings. Since I returned to part time work, I feel really tired and anxious on Mondays when I'm at the office. I kept thinking about going to the gym afterwards and didn't feel like interact with my collegues because I just wanted to go home and go to the gym. I thought maybe I need to get my 'fix' before I go to work so I'd feel more settled and less anxious. The gym opens at 6.30 a.m. so I had to get up at 5.30 a.m. to get there early enough to have a reasonable workout and then get home to have a shower and get ready to go to work. I think this plan works pretty well because I definitely feel more relaxed when I go to work and didn't feel anxious all the time. It's a big effort for somebody who used to sleep in all the time. I have been getting up at 6 a.m. to go to BodyPump and Pilates but 5.30 a.m. is really early. I think my body knows I have to get up at that time so on the days I don't need to get up at 5.30 a.m., I would wake up and check my alarm clock at 5.30 a.m.

On the days I rocked up at the gym at 6.30 a.m., I found that there this girl who is always there early and because she can run, she always managed to get the elliptical machine I like. I find this quite annoying since I feel I work best with that elliptical. The only thing I can do is try to do more when I don't have to go there that early since she won't be there.

I was at the gym for about 2 hours this morning after my BodyPump class. I have been attending Alex's classes on Tuesday mornings. Despite the fact that Gavin stated in the letter to him that I will not use barbell for any overhead activites or for squats, I have been using the barbell for a while now. The letter was written back in March and it's almost been 2 months now. I tried to use the bar in a class with different instructor and it felt ok so I have kept using it. I haven't mentioned this before but the instructor on Monday night, Donna, is a very nice lady. She teaches Tri Atheletic (an aerobics class) and BodyPump on Monday evenings. I have been going to her classes for a while now. She was the one who pointed out to me that my tecniques look quite good in BodyPump and I should set my self a goal to increase the weights over time. I took her advice and loaded up the weights. In BodyPump, they always say you should have heavier weight in the squats track since quads are big muscle groups. When I first tried the heavier weight, she asked me how did I go with it. I told her it felt heavy. She told me that's what it's meant to be and she told me she thought my technique was good. Sometimes I wonder if it's a gender difference that guys just can't be sympathetic and nice. Donna is always very sympathetic of my situation and is always nice. She mentioned many times that I'm really inspiring because I don't give up and I still try to do things. On the other hand, Alex is not like this at all. A few weeks ago, I went up to him to have a chat after his class. Not that I particularly wanted to but I thought I should be nice to him since he is the operations manager at the sports centre and it's better if I can get on well with someone in that position. He asked me how's my rehab going and whether I still sees Gavin. He then asked me if I know how much recovery I will get. I looked at him and he asked if they told me what % of recovery I will get. I really hate this type of question so I told him rehab speciailists will never tell you anything like that because it all depends on how hard you work. He told me that he is still worried about me. I told him I know my limits so I won't do anything silly. He said it's not just that but because I have one weak side and the strong side will just try to do everything and if I keep practising poor technique, I'm reinforcing bad habits. I told him in rehab they encourage bilateral training because your good side can teach the affected side. I don't think he has bad intensions but I guess he is just a bloke and blokes can't say anything nice or they'll sound soppy. This happened many weeks ago but I still felt uneasy about it. I guess I expect a lot more respect from people since I tried so hard. Sometimes, I feel maybe I need a write up in the newspaper or something because I feel so unappreciated since most people don't know what I have been through to get to this stage and I feel I deserve more respect. But then if people from work or the insurance company find out what I'm really like, I might be in serious trouble.