23 November 2005
I have been going to the gym on a regular basis. Tim and I went there together on Saturday morning before picking Lillian up from my parents' place. I visited the gym 4 times last week - twice with the personal trainer and twice with Tim. Monday was the first time I went by myself. I think although the personal training sessions I had with Mary haave not been as affective as I'd hoped but at least I got used to going to the gym and now I find going there by myself is not so daunting. I don't think I felt as self-concious as I previously felt. I have to admit one thing I don't like about the gym these days is that they are building aa new roof and the scaffolding bloked the rails and the wall. This means I don't have anything to hold on to when I go up or down the steps at the entrance of the gym. Going there is not so much of a problem but when I go home, I must walk down the stairs without anything to hold on to which is a bit tricky especially when I'm feeling quite exhausted. I went there again this morning, the 3rd consecutive day. I had personal training with Mary this morning and I went there 30 minutes earlier and did a lot of cardio exercises before my session with her. By the time I went to see her, I was drenched in sweat already. I think this is a more effective workout for me. Otherwise, she doesn't work me very hard in the session and I walk away with a false sense of security - that I have worked enough because I had personal training. I met up with Neil after my gym session and he walked me home. i told him I was really happy to see him there today (I'm always happy to see him anyway) because I needed a bit of help to walk down those steps when there's nothing to hold on to.
Neil had to go back to his office to finish marking students papers and I was in a hurry to go out to lunch so we didn't have much time talking. I caught up with my colleagues at a cafe near work. The place is on Mt Alexander Road and I had to do this dreaded parallel parking in front of the cafe or there's nowhere else to park. After two failed attempts, I realised there was a spot a bit further away that I didn't need to reverse in and parked there. I was lucky that I could find such a spot but it also made me realise I need more practice on reverse parking.
I had an appointment with John Olver, the rehab specialist at Epworth, on Monday afternoon. I wish I never had the meeting with him. The first thing he said to me when I sat down was 'I know your husband wants you to have a 100% recovery but we really can't guarantee that and it's unlikely you'll fully recover.' I really don't see the point of telling me this. I didn't even ask him a question and this is what he said. I felt like telling him I don't want 100% recovery I want 120% recovery.
I don't really know the function of a rehab specialist because it seems to me all they do is feeding the patients with negative ideas and prognosis. I think in some ways I have recovered more than 100%. For example, I couldn't really cook before and we were having takeaways at least once a week and dined with my parents once a week. I'm cooking a lot more than before and is game enough to make something that's more complicated. In my mind, that's more than 100% recovery. I remember the kitchen stool I borrowed from MECRS when I first came home from the hospital and that's long gone now. In the beginning, I couldn't stand for a long period of time while doing all the preparations and to use the kitchen stool for little rests. I haven't had the need for the stool for a long time now. To me, from being unable to sit up from the bed by myself to standing in the kitchen for long period of time cooking is a big improvement. If only John can see the difference, who cares about what he thinks. Besides, they will almost always get it wrong anyway. The specialist at MECRS told me I may never be lift up my left arm above my head and the physio there predicted it would take me 2 to 5 years to drink a cup of tea with my left hand. Thanks to Neil and Rosemary that I can do both in less than 18 months. It's very hard not to have bitchy thoughts sometimes. I felt like asking John if he has a mother or a wife or a daughter and if this has happened to one of them would he still say the same thing to them.
Neil had to go back to his office to finish marking students papers and I was in a hurry to go out to lunch so we didn't have much time talking. I caught up with my colleagues at a cafe near work. The place is on Mt Alexander Road and I had to do this dreaded parallel parking in front of the cafe or there's nowhere else to park. After two failed attempts, I realised there was a spot a bit further away that I didn't need to reverse in and parked there. I was lucky that I could find such a spot but it also made me realise I need more practice on reverse parking.
I had an appointment with John Olver, the rehab specialist at Epworth, on Monday afternoon. I wish I never had the meeting with him. The first thing he said to me when I sat down was 'I know your husband wants you to have a 100% recovery but we really can't guarantee that and it's unlikely you'll fully recover.' I really don't see the point of telling me this. I didn't even ask him a question and this is what he said. I felt like telling him I don't want 100% recovery I want 120% recovery.
I don't really know the function of a rehab specialist because it seems to me all they do is feeding the patients with negative ideas and prognosis. I think in some ways I have recovered more than 100%. For example, I couldn't really cook before and we were having takeaways at least once a week and dined with my parents once a week. I'm cooking a lot more than before and is game enough to make something that's more complicated. In my mind, that's more than 100% recovery. I remember the kitchen stool I borrowed from MECRS when I first came home from the hospital and that's long gone now. In the beginning, I couldn't stand for a long period of time while doing all the preparations and to use the kitchen stool for little rests. I haven't had the need for the stool for a long time now. To me, from being unable to sit up from the bed by myself to standing in the kitchen for long period of time cooking is a big improvement. If only John can see the difference, who cares about what he thinks. Besides, they will almost always get it wrong anyway. The specialist at MECRS told me I may never be lift up my left arm above my head and the physio there predicted it would take me 2 to 5 years to drink a cup of tea with my left hand. Thanks to Neil and Rosemary that I can do both in less than 18 months. It's very hard not to have bitchy thoughts sometimes. I felt like asking John if he has a mother or a wife or a daughter and if this has happened to one of them would he still say the same thing to them.
posted by Teresa Liu at 9:26 PM
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