30 September 2005

I had physio at Epworth this morning. Again, I went there a bit earlier so I’d be organised before my session starts. When I went in the physio treatment room, Nick was sitting in his wheelchair at one side of the room. I didn’t know whether to say hello to him or not because I don’t know if he recognises me. He had problem remember the physio student’s name two weeks ago. His mobility seems to have improved a lot but I don’t know whether his memory has improved. One thing I have noticed about these patients who had tramatic brain injuries from car accidents is that although they often lost the ability to speak or suffer from temporary short-term memory loss, their mobility seem to improve quite rapidly. I don’t know if that’s due to the nature of brain injury or the intensive physio they’ve been having. It again puts a question in my mind – would I have improved more if I had gone there in the first place?

When I was doing my walking practice, I saw Damian and his companion came in. When I first came to Epworth in March, he was still in a wheelchair but he has improved so much since and is walking around quite well now. I saw him a few weeks ago and I think he has made further improvement since then. I never found out his companion’s name although I have seen her many times.

I then went on to do my dorsiflexion exercises against the wall. When I was doing that, I saw this woman I often see before my session starts. I think she normally comes in an hour before I do. I know she is also Gavin’s patient but I don’t know her name. When I saw her walk a few weeks ago, I thought her walking had improved. She used to drag her swing her effected leg out like I did but had stopped when I saw her last time. Today, I noticed her old habit has come back again. For some reason, she is circumducting her effected leg again. I wonder if she had a stroke because that’s the typical hemplegic gait – something I used to do. I think I still do it sometimes especially when my legs are a bit stiff.

When Gavin came in, he asked Damian’s companion to go to the computer. I think he has video taped Damian running and just wanted her to see it, too. I haven’t seen it but all of a sudden I felt quite bitchy about his improvement. It’s a bit likewhen we were training for ballroom dancing and when you haven’t seen someone for a while and the person suddenly became a very good dancer, even better than you are. I guess when I saw his progress I felt a bit threatened. I know this is not competitive ballroom dancing and I shouldn’t be competitive and be bitchy about it but somehow I can’t get over the fact that he is running and I’m not. It makes me wonder what am I doing wrong that I’m not doing as well. Maybe he hasn’t been in sessions the same time as Gary so he hasn’t wasted as much time.

Gavin set me up on the trampoline to practice jumping. He demonstrated what I had to practice – start with push off through the right foot and land on the left foot and push off through left and land on the right and I have to do this quickly. It always looks easy when he does it. I practised this for a while but still find it pretty hard. He asked Damian to do push ups on the physio bed while I was on the trampoline and he is treating Gary. He has three patients in a session at the same time but I guess Damian and I are well enough to do our own things independently. When Gary came in today, he told me he’s having the Botox today. I don’t know what happened to Gary because he is really quiet today. Maybe he is scared of needles.

Maybe I’m just getting old and grumpy but Damian’s companion has been quite a chatter box today and I found it really irritating. There I was trying to practice jumping, and I had to put up with this background noise. I used to have to put up with Gary but I think I got used to his voice now so I can just switch off and do my own things. It’s very hard for me to focus on my jumping when there is this new ‘noise’ in the background. Gavin said this is the last thing I need to be able to do before I can run. I asked him if this is a co-ordination problem. He said it’s both co-ordination and strength. I think this is something I can use the ‘imagining’ technique. Neil has discovered (when he was helping me with my arm exercises) that imagining helps when there is problem with co-ordination. I also asked Gavin about my knee. I found that when I’m jumping on the trampoline or doing the leg press my left knee tends to rotate inwards. He said that’s due to hip weakness. I told him that I mentioned this to Mary and she told me it’s due to muscle imbalance but is unsure how to fix it. Perhaps I shouldn’t have mentioned it because for the second time he is telling me that I have to sack Mary. He mentioned to me last time that he can recommend another personal trainer but I thought it’s too much trouble because I have just got used to Mary and if I go to someone new I have to start all over again and also, I’m not sure if the Melbourne Uni gym will allow me to bring in my own personal trainer.

Gavin put Gary on a physio bed and told us we can hang around if we want to see Gary scream. They are preparing to give him some Botox. He pulled down Gary’s pants and marked the spots where the Botox will be injected. The needle is so big and looks really scary. I didn’t stay to watch the injection because I thought Gary would probably feel a bit undignified – lying there with his pants down (with underpants on though). I know I wouldn't like people watching if I were in that situation.